How to cope with differences in spouses sex drive.
Nearly every night around 5 a.m. my testosterone level goes up and makes the piece of the blanket down to my private parts lift up. I wake up, full of sexual desire but my wife sleeps soundly next to me. I lie, watching the ceiling and contemplating my options. There are three of them here. I can try to go back to sleep. I can masturbate. I can wake up my wife and have quickie to my pleasure only. First, she won’t have her orgasm for she is very rare in the mood at nights. Second, her days for getting her climax usually happen on weekends. In other words, we neither have the same amount of sexual libido, nor our sex clocks are ticking synchronously. Even so, there’s sexual chemistry between us and we love each other and want to have regular sex.
That’s just our sexual appetites have become different. But it wasn’t this way when we got married…
I believe most couples have the same issue. The only variety is to which extent this difference in spouses sexual desires comes out and how harmful it could be for your relations.
I also believe that this difference in our sex drive is not something constant during our marriage life span.
When we begin dating and then get married there’s hardly any difference in our sex appetites. We are young and sexually hungry. We make sex every day or even several times per day. As time passes by, we become less passionate and find more appropriate balance in our sex life. Then the first child is born and our sexual life changes completely. Sometimes mothers are not interested in sex at all because they just don’t have enough energy. Sometimes it’s even worse, they get a depression. First sexual imbalances start to appear. Time goes on flying. We get used to each other and change physically. Unfortunately, rather often we become less interested in having sex together. But what is more important our sex drives drift away with different speed. Here we begin asking ourselves what happened, what we should do next, if it’s possible to refresh our sexual life at all.